Saturday September 16th, 2006
Moon Bounce and Jail Time
Hopefully this won’t be my last entry, but if I end up in jail I might not be able to update for a while. Wait lets back up.
So recently my brother moved back east and I moved into a new apartment. A few days ago my neighbor came to my door to tell me something but unfortunately she doesn’t speak much, if any English. I nodded my head and smiled a lot but the only thing I understood was something about my car and something about food. (I’m sure there’s a fat joke in there somewhere.) She left and I went back to my Family Guy episode. Two days later her husband came by. He speaks slightly better English and by the end of the conversation his point is made clear. His son is having a 4th birthday party this weekend and they want me to move my car out of the back parking lot so they can set up a “Moon bounce.” In exchange they are bribing me with cake and refreshments. I have no problem parking on the street for a day so I agree.
That brings us to today. I parked on the street last night and now I’m nursing a hang over with the sound of a screaming sugar fueled kindergarten class bouncing in the air behind my apartment. To get a little fresh air in my apartment I opened a few windows as well as my front door and left my screen door closed. I was in the kitchen looking for something that wouldn’t awaken the vodka beast sleeping in my belly when I heard my screen door crashing shut. I poked my head out of the refrigerator and think I might have seen a blur out of the corner of my eye but blamed it on the six vodka Collin’s I had the previous night. I continued to look for anything edible in my refridgerator and as I was finishing off the last of a bag of Doritos I thought I heard a sound coming from my bedroom.
I walked into my bedroom to find a roughly 4 year old Asian girl looking around startled like a caged animal. Suddenly she saw me and stared at me in silence. Still partially asleep and fully hung over it took me a moment to realize she must have run in when the door slammed shut. Now looking at me, she burst out crying. She sniffled out something to the effect of, “I went in the wrong apartment.” In my semi-aware state I elequantly blurted out something like, “The party’s next door you can get out through there.” And motioned toward the front door. I stepped aside and she ran as fast as she could out of my apartment.
I’m not sure how long she was in my apartment, but it was certainly long enough to cause alarm to any parent. As scared as she was and crying I wondered what she’d say to anyone who asked. “The fat scary white guy who moved in next door trapped me in his bedroom but I got away,” probably wouldn’t sound too good. I think I’m going to try to avoid going outside at all today.
