Saturday September 9th, 2006
Where I've Been
So obviously a few important events have happened over the last few years. I can’t update everything at once so I’m sure to make reference to the last few years in future entries as they become relevant. For example, it may not be relevant right now for me to go into the story of how I found myself in a Mexican prison when my friend Brandon came to visit, so I won’t tell that story right now. It is however relevant why and how I’m updating now so I’ll tell the story of Ron and the Rockey Mountain Mother Fucker.
Believe it or not realizing I’ve become a loser again wasn’t a recent revelation. In fact I had it nearly a year ago but I was powerless to do anything about it. You see when I started this site I didn’t want anyone to know who I was. When I had to include personal information, like for example my name and address, I used a fake name and/or a friends address. At no point have I used my real full name, address, or phone number.
This was great when people wrote me with a familiar name and told
me they knew where I lived and such, because I knew they’d go
to the address and realize I probably wouldn’t have a website
if I really lived at, “Crazy Girls.” The problem is after
not doing anything with the site for over a year I forgot the passwords.
What’s worse I couldn’t verify who I was to change the
passwords. The site was getting free hosting from a kind gentleman
in England, who’s e-mail address I lost. So the site was up
and I couldn’t change it or even take it down. This brings us
to my favorite “Pink Princess,” Dan.
Not too long ago one of my best friends Dan got engaged to be married.
Yes I was losing a wing man but gaining a really hot chick I wasn’t
allowed to think of naked, but I’ll get to that at another point,
what’s important now is of course, the bachelor party. So Dan
finds the woman of his dreams and he’s happier with her than
normal humans should be without narcotics. So happy in fact that he
has no desire for any other women. Great for Dan, bad for his friends
who want to throw him a bachelor party. Dan is so head over heals
in love, and so eager to make his fiancé happy that he denied
his friends the pleasure of strippers at his bachelor party. (As such
it was the group consensus that Dan was a pussy so we all brought
something pink to put on Dan, I brought the “Pretty Princess”
pink tiara.)
After a few drinks I of course started making fun of Dan at which point Dan blurted out my darkest secret about my website. Since my sit has laid fallow for a few short years now I was unphased and continued my timeline from when he buys the minivan to when the sex stops. The mention of my website got one of the other people at the bachelor party talking about his website, “The bathroom door rule.” I heard about the concept and told him I’d be interested in writing for it. Seeing a drunk man spilling beer on an inflatable midget in his lap, Ron wasn’t exactly impressed. The next day after enough of the hang over had subsided I wrote him with a link to this website and the story about how I had lost all the contact information. I told him how his site sounded like a fun place to start writing again and honestly I’ve been getting the writing bug quite a bit lately. The next day I got an e-mail and from Ron and from the title I knew I was going to be working with him for a while. It simply read, “I can get your site back.”
Finally my computer would be used for more than Heroes V and Suicide Girls, I was back.
