Saturday November 22nd, 2003
Kissing Jeanine
I've become accustomed to the subtleties of indirect rejection so
much so that I seem to almost sense rejection before it happens. Most
guys don't know they're being blown off until the girl starts with
the, "Listen, YOUR NAME HERE, we need to talk..." speech.
I found it surprising that I didn't get any warning signs that I should
quit while I was ahead. After a decent dinner and a bad movie the
night concluded with me walking Jeanine to her car. I was feeling
out the situation and it seemed like things were working out pretty
well so I took my leap of faith and kissed her. Surprisingly she kissed
me back. We made out for a little bit and than she got into her car
and drove home.
I've been preparing for rejection so much that I almost didn't even consider the possibility that things might actually work out. Walking back to my own car I couldn't wipe the smile off my face with a brillow pad. Maybe things were actually going to work out for me. Not wanting to tempt fate and its amazing sense of irony I buckled my seat belt, locked my doors, and drove home slowly trying to avoid run away buses, escape convicts, and lightning bolts.
When I got home I had a message waiting but who ever it was listened until the answering machine picked up and hung up. I thought it may be Jeanine so I gave her a call. Over the next two hours she explained why she likes me but doesn't think we should be more than friends. For the first fifteen minutes I tried to rationalize with her but after that I realized it wasn't the kind of thing you convince someone else about.
I pretended to listen as I retraced my steps to figure out where exactly I screwed up. Honestly I think it has something to do with actually getting to know the person before getting involved with them. I know that sounds backwards but I think that really getting to know a person solidifies the relationship you're in at that moment. If you're friends when you really get to know someone, well than you just made a good friend. If you're sleeping with someone when you start to find out who they really are than you are starting a relationship. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, and maybe people with no dates have too much time to think about this kind of stuff. I don't think it really matters.
