Wednesday February 19th, 2003
Loser Envy
I know a guy at work who tells me about how he envies me. He envies me because I'm "only twenty four" and have so many opportunities. He regularly tells me stories of when he was twenty-four. Dozens of anonymous exotic women with nicknames like "The Screamer" and "Jiggles." These are the women he thinks of when he and his wife have sex. If I ever get married, I will think of my wife. Not because I'm that kind of guy, but because recalling my past sexual experiences is like lighting off fire works around a Vietnam vet. Rather than moon lit passion on a beach my sexual experiences were more like feeding a Mogwai after midnight.
Hopefully I can change all that.
