Saturday February 14th, 2004
Dreams Come True
As I drove down the 5 I wondered if all Honda Civics rattle so much when they’re going ninety miles an hour or if it’s just mine. I felt like I was in a shuttle re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. I started to replay things in my head like a coach reviewing footage of past games before the world series or super bowl. I started to second guess myself about everything. Maybe I heard her wrong on the phone and she only “Wished” I’d come down to San Diego to see her but didn’t really want me to come down. Maybe she was hired by my friends. Maybe she’s an alien doing experiments on human humiliation. For some reason all these scenarios seemed more likely than what was presented as the case. A woman actually liked me for me and wanted me to spend the weekend at a posh hotel room with her that her company was paying for. My lottery tickets may not have won but that doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten extremely lucky.
I called Steph when I reached her hotel and she said she’d be right down. Not sure what room she was in, I parked the car, grabbed my bag, and waited in the lobby. If the lobby was any indication of the rooms this hotel was quite a bit out of my price range. I’m not even completely sure what she does at these trade shows but it must be worth it for her company to shell out the money for this kind of place. Steph met me in the lobby wearing a gray women’s business suit. (I’m sure it’s not just a suit, like the type of shoe probably has a name and the type of top and skirt each have special names that a guy like me just doesn’t know, so for now I’m just calling it a women’s business suit.)
Steph gave me a hug and a kiss and told me she was starving and we should go grab a bite to eat. I was a little surprised she didn’t let me put my bag in her room first but when I’m hungry I’ve forgotten names and parking breaks so I’m not one to judge. We went to a standard “TGI Friday’s” type place with a slightly better menu and less flair. I kind of expected myself to be shitting my pants but I actually felt completely comfortable. We had a pleasant dinner despite a waiter who didn’t recognize the importance of the word “Refill.” When we finished he came by with the bill and Steph handed him a credit card. I was a bit surprised and still went for my wallet, at least to pay for my share and she stopped me. “I got it.” Hmm. Was she getting it to be nice? Was she getting it so she wouldn’t feel as guilty turning me down later? I know that at some point I should think positively but I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. It’s like when you get to a new level of a video game and you start getting cocky and die at a stupid jumping puzzle.
We walked around for a bit, or more accurately we walked around the block and back to the car. We exchanged pleasant conversation about nothing in particular while meanwhile all I could think about was what was going to happen next. When we reached the car she handed me a breath mint. I figured whether she was planning to kiss me or just tired of smelling bar-b-que sauce I should comply. We reached the hotel and I took my bag back out of her car. I noticed Steph looking at the bag kind of confused. Finally this was my moment.
It seems nearly every time I have a date or something in my life is going well I’m skeptical. If it continues to look positive I continue to be skeptical. The moment I lose that skepticism I suddenly realize I’ve just taken a bite of a shit sandwich, and when I’m done puking I get to pay the bill. “Sorry, I go for more of the athletic type” “Wait this isn’t the car you drove to the club.” “My friend heard you on the radio, never call me again.” Finally the anticipation was over, that look on her face looking at my bag, finally I was about to taste this shit sandwich, but before I do I’ll say I have no regrets. I know I’ll probably sound like an even more pathetic loser but I really like Steph and I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve gotten to spend with her, even if she is about to tell me she’s married, or a lesbian, or just has taste.
Steph took another look at my bag and stopped me in the lobby before we reached the elevator. “Is that your only bag?” I stood there shocked. “Is that your only bag for the weekend, or do you have another one in the car?” “This is it.” “OK cool, lets go up to the room.” At this point I tried to listen real hard to see if I could hear the paramedic in the real world performing CPR on my bloated dying body. I must have undoubtedly had a heart attack and the last few weeks were part of my brains way of flushing excess chemicals before I shit my pants and die. Not hearing any counting I decide that whether this was a dream, hallucination, or my actual life I was going see where this was going to go.
Had it not been for the previous episode in the lobby I would have been more shocked at seeing a single king size bed in the center of the room. I’m sure I would have rationalized it to myself that her company wouldn’t put her in a twin room alone, but still it was a shock seeing that large ominous bed in the center of the room. Steph said something, I have no idea what but I’m sure it was something to the effect of “Make your self comfortable.” She went into the bathroom and I spent what felt like a week walking around the room and sitting on every piece of furniture several times. I finally started to chill out and laid on the bed, propped up against the headboard by extra pillows and turned on the TV.
Before I could even figure out how to see the preview guide Steph came out of the bathroom wearing… less. I was like a deer in the headlights. Steph walked over to me on the bed and turned off the TV. We started kissing and—well I’ll summarize the two pages I just deleted by saying, “One thing led to another” and two days prior to the one year anniversary of creating this site the final goal was met. I feel like I just won an Oscar and I didn’t prepare a speech. I’d like to start by thanking Dave at paper raincoat for forcing me to do a cool color scheme and design and not the crappy one I picked out. I’d like to thank my brother for pushing me to work out and even going as far as to threaten me. Don’t play the music yet, I’m not finished. I’d like to thank Trish, without whom I would have never met Steph. Of course I’d like to thank Steph for being an amazing wonderful person who must have suffered some head trauma at some point because she actually likes me as much as I like her and, oh I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry, and most of all I’d like to thank all my readers who’s continued support helped me to achieve my life’s goal. Thank you each and every one, I hope you get to experience the same joy I feel right now.
Well I think that’s about it from me for now. I knew the ride had to end and I’m just glad I was able to end it on a happy note. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the line I’ll have need of this site again, or maybe hand it over to someone who needs it more than I. One thing’s for sure, you’re not going to see any more updates for quite a while. For now I’ll leave the site up and start living my life without the audience. Thanks to everyone for reading.
Mike Zero
