Saturday February 7th, 2004
Old Mistakes and New Confidence
A collage of high school memories washed over me as “Black Hole Sun” belted out of ancient speakers into the waiting area. I’m still astonished at how much I’ve changed. Before I created this site I was terrified of going to a pool party with my friends because I might have to take off my shirt. Now I feel like I could post pictures of an orangutan putting chestnuts up my ass, if I was into that kind of thing. A heavy set gentleman waved a blue wash cloth at me and I tipped him three dollars as he handed me my keys. With my crappy Honda Civic now clean enough to clearly see the dents and scratches, I was ready to pick up Steph for our second date.
Although I’ve been on quite a few first dates it’s been some time since I’ve had to plan a second. Faced with this challenge, I went to Steph’s place carefully reviewing my plan. Breath mints, check. Car wash, check. Clean shirt, well close enough. I arrived at Steph’s apartment fifteen minutes early. Still getting ready she buzzed me up to her apartment to wait for her. I was greeted at the door with a quick kiss and a, “Give me five minutes.”
I couldn’t help but notice the similarity between this and my last date. (LINK) On that date I was buzzed into her apartment, kissed at the door, and she faked being sick when she saw the crappy car I drove. A small fur ball named “Gizmo” licked my hand and I wondered what unexpected pit fall awaited me here.
The only commonality I’ve seen between the women I date is that I never see it coming. I make some crass joke, Girl #1 is offended. I avoid crass jokes, Girl #2 is bored. I tell a knock knock joke, Girl #3’s dad was recently killed by a faulty vault door. The only thing that stays true is that I never know why something is going to go bad until it does, and now, I’m OK with that. When I decided to end this site (LINK) it was because I wanted my life to focus on more than just getting laid. Now that I don’t weigh my personal value on my ability to swoon the opposite sex my life is much less stressful. This is the first second date I’ve been on in a long time and I think it might be because I’m not as focused on getting laid. I’m having fun with a woman I genuinely like, and that’s enough for now.
Steph walked into the living room wearing a sexy green sun dress and matching high heel sneakers. (Best way I could describe them) Every time I see her I can’t help but think she’s somehow more attractive than the last time I saw her. If this trend continues at it’s current rate than by May she’ll have split into perfect copies of Angelina Jolie and Natalie Portman. She took my hand in hers and we left the apartment. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat more comfortable with her than I have in the past. Finally things were starting to look up. As we reached my car I opened the passenger door for Steph and she stopped. “This is your car?” She looked surprised. “Yea.” With that she started laughing. Dear god not again.
There has to be some mistake. I feel like a kid who was good all year only to run down the stairs Christmas morning and find a pink bunny suit instead of the red rider bee-bee gun I’ve been asking for all year. Being the glutton for punishment I’ve always been I asked to have it spelled out for me. “What’s so funny?” Steph gave me a sweet smile as she laughed and pointed behind me. “That’s my car, and that’s my roommates.” I turned to see two identical silver Honda Civics parked tandem. Just two more and we could form Voltron. I gave a smile of relief, I’m not dead yet.
So I tried to think of some good touristy stuff to do in LA while also being semi-romantic and not costing an arm and a leg. To start we drove up Mulholland Drive, which as most LA people know is one of the curviest roads in existence. We made it to the top and went to the look out point that gives a clear view of all of Hollywood as well as the Hollywood sign. Steph compared my driving to amusement park rides and the coolest thing she saw was the thin layer of smog visible from the look out point. The drive down was even more fun and I’m some what surprised I didn’t tip my car.
Next we drove to Griffith Park. When we arrived I went to my trunk and took out a back pack and we walked around for a bit talking about where we were from and what drove us to move out here. Finding a small secluded clearing I took the checkered blanket out of my backpack as well as the food. I’m barely able to feed myself without the use of a phone or yelling into a speaker so this picnic was catered by Subway. (Being a larger man I even spend my free time talking about food and in a previous conversation she had told me her favorite sub at Subway.) Taking out two cans of Cherry Coke for myself and two Diet Pepsi’s for her our lunch was complete.
The more we talked the more I liked her. We had a fair amount in common yet I was surprised I met her in the first place. More surprising than her story about getting arrested in Mexico (Long story short, avoid Tijuana at night) was how calm I was in this situation. I felt perfectly comfortable with her and things seemed to be going really well. She started to tell a story about how she met her roommate but to be honest I wasn’t paying attention. I just stared at her and thought about how far I had come and how this has already been one of the greatest dates in my life. I was so consumed in that perfect moment that I didn’t even notice the battalion of ants crawling up my arm. Luckily we had already finished eating before I realized I had put the blanket a little too close to a ant colony.
On the drive back to her place I asked what she was doing next weekend. I know that doesn’t sound too impressive so let me take you back a moment. Asking a girl what she’s up to at some point in the future, as to imply that I would like to do something with her in the future, has always been a strategic, almost military decision. I wait for a pleasant moment, perfect song in the background, a sweet smell, proper humidity, temperature, anything that might swing the scales slightly in my favor. I didn’t do that this time. I just asked. “Actually I’m busy next weekend.” Damn it why didn’t I wait until track 4 to ask?
It’s not that bad actually, Steph has another trade show next
weekend. At least that’s what she said and for the time being
I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt. It’s so hard
to know for sure because most women aren’t decent enough to
just say, “I know I gave you a chance despite you’re physical
appearance but it turns out I still don’t like you.” Most
blow offs (And I’ve had my share) are like standard work blow
offs with added extras. Not only do you get the “Visiting family”,
“Illness”, and “Prior obligation,” but you
also get the “Dog sitting”, “Tons of work to do”,
and my personal favorite “I’m moving back home.”
(Which by the way ladies, if you’re going to use that one at
least have the decency to either move or make sure the other person
never sees you again.) For now I’ll go on the assumption that
I haven’t been blown off just yet. Everything seems to be going
really well but I’m really trying not to get my hopes up.
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