Wednesday December 31st, 2003
New Years Eve
A bar in the middle of no where wouldn’t be my first choice for New Year’s Eve, but when the few friends I have agree on a place I’m not about to argue. $30 a piece to walk through the door which covered all you can eat buffet as well as Champaign toast at midnight and doughnuts at 1am. This was quite a dilemma for me as I could have all I could eat, but as I ate I’d spend more money to get drunk. I spent the first hour carefully weighing the proper amounts of Swedish meatballs and Newcastle trying to find my “zone.”
The place was packed wall to wall. Somehow the dozen of us acquired a standing bar table for four. This became our base of operations as expeditions went back and forth to the bar and buffet. While I was on an urgent mission for hot wings with Dan I learned that his roommate had planned on proposing to his girlfriend tonight in front of everyone. I started to realize why Kyle was so adamant to have us all together on New Year’s Eve. I’ve never been close to marriage myself, but I think if I was to propose I wouldn’t do it on a drinking holiday in front of all my friends. (I’d probably hold out for a romantic time like at Universal Studios when Jaws pops out of the water.)
Although there were more than enough hot wings to go around there weren’t any napkins. After a fifteen minute search for something to wipe our hands we ended up at the bar snatching drink napkins when the bartender wasn’t looking. As undeniably sexy as this must have been we were still surprised when two girls came up and started talking to us. It was 11:30 and after some short conversation it looked like we might not be the only two people without someone to kiss at midnight. That of course quickly changed about 2.5 seconds after we bought them a round of drinks. We made our way back to the table just in time to watch Kyle have a stroke.
OK Kyle didn’t have a stoke, but it looked like he could have one at any moment. His girlfriend was in the bathroom and it was now 10 minutes to midnight. Kyle had a speech prepared that lasted exactly 2 minutes which he was going to start at just the right time to hear her say, “Yes” as the ball dropped. Such an intricate plan, I knew it was destined to fail. In her absence Kyle got a bit of minor jabs from the guys asking if he’s sure this is what he wants to do and asking his motives. Kyle calmed down a bit as he explained how hollow and empty his life was before he met Danni (short for Danielle). Sadly his hollow existence sounded better than the life I’ve lived for the last year.
Not too uncommon for New Year’s Eve, I reflecting on the last year. In the pursuit of getting laid I’ve drastically altered my body, I’ve forced myself into difficult situations, and I’ve completely turned around my self confidence. Maybe it’s the meatballs talking but I think it might have been for the best that I didn’t get laid. (I feel like a priest who just cursed god.) If I started this site and got laid a month later I’d have no reason to have this site and I’d still be the same pathetic loser I was back then and not the new slightly less pathetic unwinner I have become. All and all I’m much happier with the person I am today than the person I was a year ago.
Less than 5 minutes to midnight and Kyle was sweating bullets. Danni still hadn’t returned from the bathroom and the second person sent to check on her was now returning. “She’s on her way back now.” As promised Danni walked back to the table oblivious that she has been the topic of conversation for the majority of the night. At the point that she got back to the table semi-drunken friends were exchanging stories of past New Year’s as well as how they met everyone. Kyle jumped in and told everyone how he met Danni at a softball game and how he thought she hated him. He mentioned both the speeding ticket he got on his way to their first date as well as the perfect birthday present that was in his car when it was stolen. Everyone laughed as Kyle told of one mishap after another in his relationship with Danni that she always took with a smile. As the ball started to drop Kyle took her by the hand and continued. By 7 he had the ring out, by 5 he was on one knee, and by 1 she said yes and everyone cheered. I couldn’t believe it worked. I feel like I was watching the first man on the moon or someone miraculously emerging from a burning building.
I’m happy for Kyle and Danni. They seem like a perfect match and I think they’re both lucky to have found one another. At the beginning of the night they were boyfriend and girlfriend in 2003. By the end of the night they were engaged to be married in 2004. What did the night hold for me you might ask? Let’s just say all you can eat Krispy Kreams and hard liquor don’t mix.
