Sunday December 21st, 2003 (Night)
Flash Back
“Alright bitches get in the car we’re going to Murphy’s.” I hadn’t seen Ross in nearly a year but this is about the “Welcome home” I’d expect from him. On the mile drive to the bar I was able to hear the big events that happened in my absence. Allyson was pregnant, Bill was arrested, and Ross has slept with several girls who never gave him the time of day growing up. If only we were all so lucky.
Looking around the bar I didn’t recognize anyone. Granted it was early in the night but given the location I knew it was only a matter of time. We sat at a table and Ross lit up a cigarette. Scott and I looked at him like he just put on lipstick. “The fuck you staring at?” Having been in LA for the last few years it’s weird to see someone smoke a cigarette in a building, especially a bar. “Hey Ross what’s up?” A cute blonde waitress arrived at our table. “Hey Jessie, I’d like you to meet my friends Scott and Mike.” The waitress looked at me rather confused. “This isn’t Hamburgler Mike is it?” Great, Ross has been mentioning my old nicknames in my absence. “Yea that’s me.” The waitress gave me a confused, “Who farted” look which is usually reserved for after I ask a girl out. “You can’t be that Mike, you’re not fat.” Wow that’s the closest thing I’ve gotten to a complement from a woman since, “But I still think you’re really cool and we could still be friends.” After some short conversation we ordered a pitcher of Yuengling (Footnote #1) and the waitress returned to the bar. “So yea that was Jessie, she look familiar?” Scott and I shook our heads, if I’d seen her before I’m sure I’d have remembered. “That was Heather’s sister.” This started a conversation that went through our next two pitchers. In a town like this there’s rarely more than three degrees of separation. Everyone you know is someone’s brother, ex-girlfriend, co-worker, and so on.
The landscape of the bar had changed significantly since we began our conversation. The place had started to fill up and a few familiar faces started to emerge. No names yet, just stories. “Isn’t that the girl who got caught with Steve Register in the girl’s bathroom?” “Hey that’s the guy who beat the hell out of Wagner out side that pool hall.” After having my share of Yuengling I went to the rest room to relieve myself.
Standing at the urinal I could see various comments written or carved into the wall about a number of girls I have known, as well as a few I’d like to meet. Stepping out of the bathroom I bumped into a girl waiting for the ladies room. I said excuse me which somehow turned into a five minute conversation which ended with her entering the ladies room. Now I’m home for the holidays. Over the next week I’ll be staying with my parents and spending nearly every moment with my family and friends so dating or anything else is pretty much not an option. I bumped into an attractive girl and started talking on impulse. When did hitting on girls go from my biggest fear to my natural reaction?
When I got back to the table Ross was in a mild state of shock. “So I can’t call you Fat Bastard anymore because you lost all that weight and now you’re talking to girls you don’t know? Who are you and what’ve you done with the real Mike?” I know this doesn’t sound like a profound statement but this really registered with me. I’ve known Ross for over a decade. We were in boy scouts together where he taught me the meaning of the word “Combustible.” My first job was working drive thru at Roy Rodgers and guess who was working the fries? When I was in high school guess who convinced a girl to be my first girlfriend? Ross knew me better than anyone, and to see the utter shock on his face when I told him about my normal life in LA or to see me walk up and talk to someone forces me to take a step back and reexamine myself.
In high school I was so shy that when we went to Mc Donald’s
after school I couldn’t buy my own food. I’d give my money
to Ross and tell him what I wanted rather than talk to the woman behind
the counter. Occasionally he’d get frustrated and refuse and
rather than talk to the woman behind the counter I wouldn’t
eat that day. Now I start conversations with attractive women on impulse.
I feel like I just graduated after being in class so long I forgot
I was working toward something. Now all I have to do is improve that
whole success rating thing.
